Blog
Practical writing for families and friends of people inside — what to say, what it costs, and what the rules actually are. Free to read, no account needed.
More guides
6 guides
How to send a message to someone in jail or prison
Every route in, what each costs, and how long each one takes.
What calls actually cost
How the pricing works, and how to work out a 15-minute call before you commit.
Alternatives to Securus, JPay and GettingOut
Who the providers are, why the facility picks them, and what you can actually change.
What to say to someone in prison
Where to start, what to avoid, and how to keep talking when replies are slow.
Writing your first letter
What to include, how long it should be, and what happens to it on the way.
What the other person can and cannot see
Whether your address is exposed, what the facility sees, and how to stay in control.
Not sure where to start?
Find the sentence closest to where you are.
- “Someone I love was just arrested and I do not know what happens next.”What the first weeks look like, and what you can and cannot do yet.
- “I need to get a message to them and I do not know how.”The routes that exist — mail, phone, messaging — and what each one is good for.
- “The calls are costing more than I can keep paying.”What phone calls from a facility actually cost, and why.
- “I am already paying Securus or JPay and it is not working for us.”Who the providers are, why the facility picks them, and what you can actually change.
- “I want to write but I have no idea what to say.”Where to start, what lands, and what is heavier to receive than it feels to write.
- “This is my first letter and I keep starting it over.”A first letter that does not have to carry everything at once.
- “I want to stay in touch without the whole world knowing.”What is recorded, what is public, and what stays yours.
How these are written
Most of what is here applies whether or not you ever use NearestKin. Staying in touch with someone inside is hard for reasons that have nothing to do with which service you pick, and the practical parts — mail rules, approved numbers, what lands well in a letter — are the same either way.
A few of these use the word “inmate” in the title, and we want to say why rather than let it sit there. We use the word “inmate” here because that is what people search for. Inside NearestKin, they are an Inside Community Member. Inside the writing itself it is your sister, your son, your friend.
There are things we will not write, however well they would do in search. We do not publish mugshots or link to sites that do. We do not run listings that put people who cannot freely decline in front of strangers looking for romance. And we do not explain how to get around a facility’s phone or billing rules — those rules are often unfair, and the person who pays for breaking them is the one inside, not you.
Everything here is checked against what facilities and providers actually publish. Where something varies by state or by facility — and a lot of it does — we say so instead of guessing on your behalf.
Ready to send your first message?
An account is free, and messages cost nothing to send or receive.